Video highlights a 16-day trip to Copenhagen, Stockholm and Norway, with original local music and many beautiful locations. Watch on YouTube.
All posts by djarmul
Photogenic Norway
As you can see on the map, we started in Bergen, Norway’s second-largest city, on its southwestern coast. Bergen has a picturesque wharf and interesting cultural sites amid majestic mountains and fjords. From there we took a ferry up to Norway’s longest fjord, Sognefjord, where we explored the beautiful villages of Balestrand and Sogndal. Finally we took a long bus ride down to Oslo, the capital, for several days before heading home.
Norway is so photogenic that I’m going to let these photos tell the story:














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Kultural Stockholm
We came to Stockholm and enjoyed Iraqi oud music, Lebanese pop, Jamaican reggae and a gospel choir, along with Catalan castells, or human towers (shown below),
That’s because our visit coincided with the city’s annual Kulturfestival, a five-day open-air celebration. Stages featuring live music, dance, art, theatre and global food markets were set up around town. Everything was free.

We did manage some traditional sightseeing, beginning with a historical walking tour where we learned about Sweden’s rivalry with Denmark and its long line of kings named Gustav. The first Gustav led a revolt against Denmark after the Danes slaughtered the local elite in a bloody massacre that inspired the infamous “Red Wedding” scene on Games of Thrones.

Less glorious was his grandson, Gustav II Adolf. He built a massive warship, Vasa, that sank within minutes before horrified onlookers on its maiden voyage in 1628. The ship was salvaged 333 years later and is now displayed in an excellent museum, one of Stockholm’s top attractions.

We also visited the Nobel Prize Museum, which does a great job of explaining science to the general public. I was fortunate to work with several Nobel laureates during my career and enjoyed reading about them in the exhibits, which include objects ranging from a pink headscarf worn by Malala Yousafzai to the discovery of the DNA double helix, above.

We wandered around Gamla Stan (the Old Town), enjoyed the gardens beside the imposing city hall and watched boats and ferries sail along the waterfront, above.
Once we discovered the festival, though, we spent almost all of our free time taking in its music and shows. My favorite was Tensta Joyful Noise, top photo, a diverse and energetic choir that showed how gospel music now reaches far beyond America.

Also great was Tarabband, above, a world music group from Malmö, Sweden, led by Iraqi-Egyptian singer Nadin Al Khalidi.
Our experience in Sweden’s capital illustrated anew the wonderful serendipity of travel, which we treasure. Here in Stockholm, we expected to find herring and lingonberries but ended up feasting instead on Iraqi ballads and gospel hymns. Hallelujah!

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Copenhagen, Easily
Copenhagen is stylish, historic, fun and easy.
It has the Little Mermaid statue, Tivoli Gardens and world-famous restaurants. More than half of Copenhagen’s residents commute by bicycle daily. They swim in the clean harbor. Their city, Denmark’s capital, consistently leads global liveability and happiness indexes.

Alas, Copenhagen is also very expensive, which is why Champa and I only visited for two and a half days while kicking off a trip to Scandinavia, as shown on the map.

We strolled Copenhagen’s cobblestone streets and rode a boat through its canals. We admired elegant shops along Strøget and the view atop Christiansborg Palace, above. We saw wedding parties at the beautiful city hall and people dancing to this singer at an outdoor club across from our hotel.

Compared to our recent travels in places like Kosovo or Indonesia, Copenhagen was frictionless. Everything worked and ran on time, except for a ridiculously long line at the airport’s passport control. Everyone spoke English. We didn’t even change any money since all transactions are electronic.


We were struck by Copenhagen’s progressive spirit, from its souvenirs mocking President Trump’s desire to take over Greenland to a city-wide celebration of Pride Week, including a “Fluid Festival” celebrating diverse gender identities.

If you ever have the opportunity, you might want to visit Copenhagen, too. It’s easy. Just bring your wallet.
Here are some photos from our trip:



Freetown Christiania is an alternative neighborhood famous for its hippie roots




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Our Bygone Tech
If you know a teenager, ask them whether they’re familiar with an electronic device that has a spinning circular mat, on top of which a vinyl disc rotates at 33 1/3 revolutions per minute. What happens when you place the device’s arm onto the grooves of the spinning disc?
For any of us who grew up collecting records by the Beatles, Bob Dylan, Aretha Franklin and others, the answer is obvious: it’s a turntable that plays music.
When I asked my grandson recently, he had no idea. He’s a smart kid about to enter high school but to him a turntable was like an ice box, a buttonhook or a laundry board were to me when I was his age.
I showed him my turntable because I was about to sell my entire vinyl collection (above) to a local store. I loved my records, which evoked happy memories, but I switched long ago to CDs and then to streaming options. My LPs were collecting dust in a closet and belonged with an audiophile who still loves vinyl.
My grandson and I were both amused that he didn’t know what a turntable is so, with help from AI, I then asked him whether he could identify the following:
- Massive, heavy paper directories delivered to your doorstep every year. You had to flip through thousands of thin, yellow pages to find the phone number of a local plumber, bakery or car dealership. Answer: the Yellow Pages.
- Thin, ink-coated paper placed between two sheets of writing paper. When you type or write on the top sheet, the pressure transfers the ink to the bottom sheet to create an instant duplicate. Answer: Carbon paper.
- Small, four-sided plastic cubes that attach to the top of a camera. Every time you take a photo with a flash, the cube explodes with a tiny burst of fire and rotates to the next side. You throw it away after four shots. Answer: A flashcube.
- Large wooden cabinets in libraries filled with hundreds of small pull-out drawers, each containing cards with book listings. Answer: Card catalogs.
- Tiny paper stamps given to you by grocery stores and gas stations based on how much money you spent. You saved them, pasted them into booklets and traded them at a local redemption center for household appliances. Answer: Green stamps.
- A cylindrical metal knob inside a car that heats up until it’s glowing red. Answer: A cigarette lighter.
My grandson and I laughed together as we went through the list, which also included 8-track tapes, milk chutes, microfilm, paper maps, rabbit ears, slide rules and manual window cranks. He knew some of these, guessed correctly at others and was baffled by many. The list might also have included typewriters, floppy disks, photographic film, phone booths and more,
If you don’t believe me, try this yourself with a teenager. Just don’t trip over your grandmother’s treadle sewing machine when you go to call them on your rotary phone.
Better yet, text them.
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Go-Go, Slow-Go
Go-Go, Slow-Go, No-Go.
It’s a phrase we’ve begun using as we think about what lies ahead for us, much as it does for millions of other people in their 70s.
When Champa and I walked away from our traditional lives in 2015, at age 62, we didn’t see ourselves as “retiring.” Rather, we hoped to engage with the world in new ways, in our case by joining the Peace Corps (above) and then traveling and volunteering extensively.
No shuffleboard for us, thanks.
I started this blog then and called it “Not Exactly Retired” to emphasize its focus on alternatives to traditional retirement. Eleven years and 422 posts later, I feel fortunate to have pursued that vision and helped some readers think more boldly about their own dreams.
Back when we started, I was so concerned with transitioning away from the workplace without “retiring” that I barely considered what might happen later when we inevitably needed to slow down. That seemed so far away.
Recently, though, it’s begun to feel closer.
Both of us remain active. We’re leaving soon on a new trip and have others planned. We’re going to the gym, spending time with our family and friends, volunteering and living full lives. We know how lucky we’ve been to do this and are grateful for our blessings.
Slowly, though, our bodies have begun to creak a bit. Some friends have moved to retirement communities. A few have died. Our two oldest grandchildren are in college. It’s finally dawning on us that “not exactly” can’t last forever. At some point — not yet — we’re going to need to slow down.
Which is why we now find ourselves discussing the phrase “no-go, slow-go, no-go,” which Champa read in an article several weeks ago.
It’s popular among financial planners. who use it to help clients think about how much money to budget for the different stages of their retirements. Writing in Kiplinger, one advisor said “it’s best to expect to do the big (and more expensive) stuff early on, when you’re healthier, then slow things down as you get older.”
The stages apply beyond financial considerations to life more generally. In a lovely essay on the Sixty + Me website, Renee Langmuir discussed her journey from beginning retirement “with a fresh start and big dreams” to encountering physical and other challenges in her 70s that “ambushed me, the former ‘can-do’ gal!” She found the transition challenging, writing: “Until very recently, my inner critic was cracking the whip with shrieks of ‘you can do more!’”
I know how she feels. Champa and I love the life we’ve pursued and are reluctant to tap the brakes on it even slightly. But off in the distance we can see the highway ending for “Go-Go” and glimpse the exit ramp for “Slow-Go.” Like it or not, that’s where we and others in our age cohort are heading.
Champa and I met in Nepal, the birthplace of Buddha, and we know how Buddhism emphasizes the impermanence of life. Wisdom comes from recognizing this reality, embracing it and finding meaning in every changing moment. Even though we’ve treasured our decade of Go-Go and plan to keep pursuing it, we need to accept that it will give way inevitably to Slow-Go, and then to No-Go, unless something worse intervenes.
“Not exactly retired” remains our mantra for now. We hope to keep chanting it as long as we can. It won’t last forever.
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Creeping Clutter
It’s Return of the Clutter. Just when you thought it was safe to go home.
Champa and I downsized in a big way when we joined the Peace Corps a decade ago. We donated or trashed most of our books, clothes, furniture and other possessions before moving abroad with two suitcases each.
“It’s been humbling to confront how much stuff we’ve accumulated,” I wrote then. “Getting rid of it has been liberating. We’ve already downsized so much that our house will be nearly empty when we return.”
So it was. When we completed our service in Moldova and returned home in 2018, everything we owned was in a small upstairs storage room of our Durham house, which we’d rented while away. Marie Kondo could have featured us in her hit Netflix series on “tidying up,” which began airing a few months later.
Alas, that was eight years ago. Since then, clutter has crept back, with new kitchen gadgets, clothes, electronics and more.
It’s much less than before. We’ve tried to retain what we’d learned in the Peace Corps about living more lightly and purposefully. We’ve refilled empty rooms mainly with used furniture from consignment shops. We bought a single car, a Prius, which we still have. We resisted buying books or other kinds of paper, doing almost everything digitally. We’ve traveled a lot but have few other splurges. Even while traveling, we’ve brought home almost nothing except souvenir magnets.
Nonetheless, the empty space in our house — even emptier since our two sons left to start their own families — has acted like a vacuum. Slowly, steadily, our pile has grown.
Recently we’ve begun purging again. I just spent several days sifting through the bin of photos and memorabilia I filled when trashing our photo albums last time, top right, above. Back then, I digitized everything but retained copies of several hundred photos. Now I’ve reduced this pile by more than half. I’m about to unload my remaining vinyl records and music CDs. I have few books left but will be thinning those out, too.
We don’t want to leave our sons with a pile of stuff to sort through later. It’s not fair to them and, as I wrote previously, they and others of their generation have little use for many of the things we consider valuable. I do plan to keep some items that have special significance, but only a few.
For us, Decluttering 2.0 has proven easier than before since we did the hardest work previously. As we’ve seen, though, it isn’t a one-time job, and it isn’t just about “stuff.” Decluttering is also the emotional process of honoring your memories while making space for life’s next stage — space in your heart as well as in your home. Letting go makes it easier to grab whatever lies ahead, just when you thought it was safe to keep holding on.
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Strike a Pose
Whatever happened to “cheese!”?
A big smile for the camera doesn’t cut it anymore. These days you need to strike a series of elaborate poses, as we saw recently in Southeast Asia.
Do the woman in the window, above, and her friend with the camera have Instagram sites? I’d guess so. Are they “influencers” with sponsors and large audiences? Probably not. But one thing I know for sure: They weren’t unusual.
Simple snapshots have given way to performance across Southeast Asia and beyond. Posing has become a new kind of visual literacy, with people tilting their chins and curling their fingers into hearts, just as in a K-pop music video. Everyone has a smartphone and social media accounts, along with selfie sticks and face-retouching apps.
There’s nothing new about young people expressing themselves; fashion, music, slang and dance have always evolved. Now they’re expressing themselves through images that are elaborately designed, posed, cropped and filtered. We have lots of wannabe Kardashians in our own country as well and I’ve seen them in other parts of the world, too.
What I saw in Asia took this to another level. Many of the young tourists who crossed our path seemed more interested in posing than in learning about where they were visiting. Was this because their countries have a tradition of presenting a carefully curated public self? Was it due to Japanese kawaii culture, with its aesthetic of cuteness, or to Korean beauty influences, or something else?
I can’t explain why it’s become so prevalent, but it has, and I found it interesting. After noticing it repeatedly for about a week, I began quietly snapping the photos you see in this post.
If you hadn’t already noticed this trend yourself, I guarantee you will see it the next time you travel, especially if you go to Southeast Asia.
I hope the people I photographed won’t mind that I shared their poses with you. They clearly wanted their photos to be seen and, well, it didn’t seem like they’d get cheesed easily.
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Ripples of Chaos
I don’t usually write about partisan politics on this blog but I’m making an exception to share what we heard about President Trump during our recent 6-week trip in Taiwan, Malaysia, Indonesia and the Philippines.
When people first learned we were American, they were invariably polite. If we asked what they thought about our president, they usually avoided answering. But when we assured them we really wanted to know, without sharing our own opinions, we got an earful.
Why did Trump launch a war that was raising energy prices, they asked us. Why did he impose so many tariffs? Doesn’t he know or care they’re struggling to support their families?
Why does he treat America’s friends so rudely?
And most frequently: Why is the United States supporting Israel as it kills Muslims in Gaza, Lebanon, Iran and elsewhere? We heard this last one repeatedly, especially in Malaysia and Indonesia, which have complicated relations with the Middle East but are nonetheless Muslim-majority. We saw war news often on our hotel televisions, like this one in Indonesia.
As I wrote in my last post, most people in these countries don’t follow every twist and turn in American politics. They are more focused on their own lives. But everyone we met was aware of the Iran conflict. Some of them, like the Malaysian taxi driver I recorded in this video clip, were following it closely. If you listen to the audio, you’ll hear a vastly different narrative from what Americans are told on CNN, much less Fox News.
Champa and I have gotten used to hearing such criticisms. We decided after the last election to spend more time outside the United States and we’ve been on the road a lot since then. No matter how far we’ve traveled, though, we can’t escape the chaos back home.
We toured the Balkans with the five Brazilian guys you see in the above photo. We initially avoided discussing politics with them but, as we got to know each other, they shared their concerns. These were well-traveled, educated men with moderate viewpoints but they all were disturbed by the recent turn of American policy. They expected Brazil to strengthen its ties with China as a result.
At a ceremony in Frankfurt to commemorate the 35th anniversary of German unification, above, the chorus sang “We Shall Overcome” and other songs that celebrate tolerance and diversity. I struck up a conversation with a local doctor holding a candle near us in the plaza and she said she was sad to see these values under attack in the United States.
We visited the southern Caribbean shortly after the United States invaded Venezuela. A guide in neighboring Curaçao, above, told us the invasion had hurt his business. Tourists were avoiding the region, he said, which meant fewer tips for him.
We returned home from Asia shortly before President Trump traveled to China to meet with Xi Jinping. I’ve been wondering since then what people in Taipei, like those we saw praying at a temple, think of the reports that Trump may now be hedging on American military support.
All of us who live in the United States have felt this administration’s actions most directly, whether the issue is immigration, health care, inflation or something else. But make no mistake: The rest of the world is affected, too. They don’t understand why America has changed. They worry about what’s happening to us and fear what it means for them.
I’ll conclude with a final photo, of Ari, the Indonesian driver who accompanied Champa and me across much of Java. He works incredibly hard and barely ekes out a living, even with the generous tips he gets from tourists like us. He sleeps in his car to save money. Now he’s facing rising fuel costs. Ari is among the many millions of people across his country, and billions more around the world, whose lives have been affected by our country’s actions. In Africa and other places that relied on USAID, the result has sometimes been deadly.
As I wrote in my last post, traveling abroad has reminded me that the United States is not the center of the universe. But its impact is still profound. We Americans remain capable of being a true world leader and of helping others, as I saw in the Peace Corps. But right now we’re flailing, and the ripples are churning in every direction.
Top photo: Historical diorama at the National Monument (Monas) in Jakarta, Indonesia.
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Six Things I Learned
I learned a lot during our recent trip to Taipei, Malaysia, Indonesia and Manila — not only about these places, but about our own country, too.
Here are six things I now understand more clearly:
America is not the center of the universe.
Our country has been so powerful for so long that it can seem like the universe revolves around us. But it doesn’t.
Many Americans are obsessed now with our political turmoil, and for good reason. When you leave home, though, you’re reminded that most people around the world are far more focused on other things.
As I wrote while serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer several years ago, my Moldovan friends didn’t “care about American politics unless it affects them personally, which it rarely does. At least they know where America is, which is more than most Americans know about Moldova.”
Did people ask us during our trip about President Trump, the war with Iran and other issues? Yes, and I plan to share some of those conversations in an upcoming post.
But we were asked far more often about our family and other matters that had nothing to do with American politics. The television in our hotel was more likely to show a badminton match than CNN.
Recognizing this doesn’t mean our American passions are unimportant. It’s just a reminder that others generally don’t share them with the same intensity.

Countries are complicated.
Is Alaska the same as Texas? Obviously not. Yet Americans often blur entire regions, such as Southeast Asia or Africa. They use phrases like “developing” to obscure immense diversity within places.
The four countries we visited turned out to be significantly different. Taiwan is technologically advanced, orderly and democratic. Malaysia is striking for its multiculturalism and welcoming form of Islam. Indonesia has a huge population with diverse islands. The Philippines has strong cultural ties to both Spain and the United States.
We saw many other differences within and across the countries as well. They can’t be reduced to sound bites and neither can other countries around the world.

They have their own histories.
America has been dominant not only in terms of its military, economy and political power, but also in its cultural imprint. Taylor Swift and LeBron James are more famous than many world leaders.
It’s humbling, therefore, to come to a place like Southeast Asia and be reminded that they had sophisticated civilizations and complex histories long before Europeans arrived, much less McDonald’s. They were shaped by trade routes, empires and migrations that had nothing to do with us.
The interactions among these countries were far more important until relatively recently. When Champa and I were in Malaysia, we stayed in a hotel that was once the mansion of a prominent Chinese businessman in Malacca. He and other Chinese immigrants played critical roles in the development of that city and others. The emigration of families from Taiwan centuries ago changed the face of the Philippines. Muslim traders reshaped Indonesia and Malaysia. The region’s majestic Hindu temples are reminders of India’s influence.
Once America did enter the picture, its impact was mixed. We liberated the region from brutal Japanese occupation during World War Two and provided essential economic and military assistance, notably to Taiwan in recent years. But we also employed scorched earth tactics to keep the Philippines under control in the early 1900s. We supported dictators like Ferdinand Marcos in the Philippines, Taiwan’s Chiang Kai-Shek and Indonesia’s Suharto.

There are far more people in Asia than in the United States.
Southeast Asia is among the most densely populated places on Earth. Taiwan, Malaysia, Indonesia and the Philippines have more people than the United States and Canada. Jakarta has more people than New York, Los Angeles, Chicago , Houston and Phoenix combined.
If you add in Vietnam, Thailand and other countries usually included in “Southeast Asia,” the comparison is even starker — and vastly more so if you include India, China and the rest of Asia.
Yet many Americans cannot place these countries on a map. Their visibility to us doesn’t align with their actual human scale. We regard our own lack of curiosity about other countries as normal and make jokes about it. Viewed from afar, our insularity is less amusing.
Their economies are growing fast.
The United States is generally wealthier than Southeast Asia, in some ways dramatically so. We saw heart-breaking poverty in several places.
But we also saw new rail systems that operate efficiently. Most of the airports were modern and immaculate. Smartphones were ubiquitous. Mobile payment was common. Skyscrapers were everywhere. Many parks and other public spaces were spotless. Taiwan has the world’s leading computer chip factories and other countries in the region are also moving fast in the tech world. Millions of people are highly educated and middle class, or more.
So are we still ahead of them economically? Overall, yes … but that’s for now.
Travel gives us perspective.
Probably my biggest take-away from this trip wasn’t about Southeast Asia per se but about travel generally.
Champa and I have been privileged to travel widely. We’ve seen repeatedly that what seems true and universal in the United States — our politics and assumptions about the world — are culturally specific rather than inevitable.
Especially at this moment when bombast and nationalism dominate our national conversation, it’s been therapeutic to view America with more distance, more nuance and less chest thumping.
I love my country. I’m proud to have served it twice overseas. But I’m also proud to be part of this larger world, which lately feels saner in many ways than my homeland.
We can learn a lot from other countries, even those that are “developing,” if we approach them with open eyes and open hearts. They remind us not only that the United States isn’t the center of the universe; it’s not even the center of our own small planet.

Top photo: Borobudur Temple, Indonesia
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