All posts by djarmul

I am a Peace Corps volunteer in Moldova, in Eastern Europe, serving in the small city of Ialoveni with my wife, Champa. We are from Durham, N.C., where I was the head of news and communications for Duke University. You can follow our adventures on my blog, notexactlyretired.com.

Montgomery’s Lessons

When I was growing up in Freeport, Long Island, no one ever told me that approximately 2,000 people wearing Ku Klux Klan robes marched through our village in 1924.

Nor was I taught about the local incident in 1946 when three Black brothers were shot by a white police officer. Two of the brothers died and the third was wounded. The killings sparked civil rights protests and inspired Woody Guthrie to write a protest song.

I had no idea about this history even when I was a teenager and race riots shut down my high school several times. I remember vividly the mobs chanting in front of the school. A bomb exploded. A bus filled with Black students was nearly overturned. A student was stabbed. My best friend’s brother was beaten. Yet even then our town’s racial history remained obscure to me—and I was among the very few white students who enrolled in our school’s African American history class.

 

 

I’ve learned more about this history in the years that followed. But now we all find ourselves living through a time when our national leaders are trying to scrub our painful racial legacy from classrooms and public spaces—a trend we must resist for all our sakes. As Bryan Stevenson of the Equal Justice Initiative has said, “I don’t think we can achieve racial justice or dynamic progress in America until we commit to a process of truth and reconciliation. We’ve got to face our history.”

 

 

This past week, Champa and I traveled to Montgomery, Alabama, to visit the Legacy Museum and the National Memorial for Peace and Justice, which Stevenson and his colleagues opened in 2018.

Located at a former warehouse where enslaved people were held, the museum provides a deeply immersive history of slavery, segregation, lynchings and the struggle for justice. I found it eye-opening and heartbreaking.

 

 

Several blocks away, the National Memorial for Peace and Justice was even more powerful. It honors the victims of racial terror lynchings. Visitors descend through rows of hundreds of steel monuments suspended overhead, evoking bodies hanging from trees. Each bears the name of a lynching victim. Markers represent counties across the country where documented lynchings took place, including several near our home in Durham. 

 

 

I’ve visited civil rights museums in Washington, D.C., Greensboro and Memphis, all of which were powerful and well worth the trip. But I’ve never been as moved as I was in Montgomery, whose legacy sites also include a sculpture park, top two photos, and Montgomery Square, above, which explores the local bus boycott and the rise of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. as a national civil rights leader.

 

 

We also visited the nearby Rosa Parks Museum, which honors the woman whose refusal to give up her seat to a white passenger sparked the Montgomery Bus Boycott. After leaving Montgomery, we drove to Birmingham to attend a Sunday morning service at the 16th Street Baptist Church, where four young girls were murdered in a bombing in 1963. We received a warm welcome and were entranced by the service, the sermon, the music, and especially the historical displays in the basement, near where the bomb exploded.

 

 

We combined this civil rights pilgrimage with fun stops in Greenville, Chattanooga and Asheville. A highlight was the historic Alabama Theatre in Birmingham, below, where we attended its annual screening of the silent film classic The Phantom of the Opera, accompanied by a live organist.

 

 

I encourage readers to visit Montgomery even if it’s far from their homes. I’ve traveled widely and consider these legacy sites to be among the most insightful and haunting places I’ve seen anywhere in our country or around the world. They are a necessary corrective for all of us who grew up without really knowing where we came from.

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Sibling Revelry

Brothers and sisters, lend me your ears. Today’s topic is siblings.

Many of us grew up with siblings. Now that we’re older and “not exactly retired,” we may remain close to them or, alternatively, not speak to them at all.

 

 

I’m lucky. I have two sisters — Ruth and Nancy — and we all get along well despite being very different people. We like each other’s spouses, too.  

However, we live in three different states, so getting together beyond weddings and other family events requires coordination and commitment. It’s easier than when we were working and had children living at home, but we still need to plan months in advance. 

 

 

We’ve been doing this enthusiastically recently, notably with a series of “heritage trips” to the hometowns of our three spouses to see where and how they grew up.

We started several years ago with a group trip to Nepal to meet some of Champa’s family and learn about her birthplace, which I knew well but my sisters had never seen. That’s us and some other family members in the photo above at Kathmandu’s Durbar Square.

 

 

Last year we met in upstate New York to visit the town where my younger sister’s husband, Joel, grew up. The photo shows us at the Airbnb farm we rented, the former home of renowned children’s author Maurice Sendak.

 

 

This past week, we met up in Butler, Pennsylvania, the hometown of my older sister’s husband, Irv. It’s where Donald Trump was shot in the ear two years ago during a presidential campaign rally at the field shown above.

We spent a day there, learning how Butler was the birthplace of the Jeep and a major producer of railcars and other industrial products before declining along with much of the Rust Belt. We had lunch with one of Irv’s family friends, saw the schools he attended and visited the cemetery where some of his relatives are buried. 

 

 

Then we shifted our focus to nearby Pittsburgh, where there was much more to see. We kept busy there visiting the Andy Warhol Museum (above), the National Aviary, the Duquesne Incline, the Phipps Conservatory and Botanical Gardens and other places, along with hanging out at our Airbnb in the Shadyside neighborhood. 

 

 

The highlight was touring the University of Pittsburgh with our granddaughter, a student there. That’s Paula in the photo with us beside Pitt’s Cathedral of Learning. 

 

 

Earlier, on our way to Pittsburgh, we visited her sister, Maya at West Chester University, above. We also stopped en route at the Flight 93 National Memorial near Shanksville, paying our respects at this field where the airplane crashed after passengers stormed the cockpit and prevented 9/11 hijackers from flying into the U.S. Capitol.

 

 

The six of us have also traveled elsewhere together, such as to Alaska and Argentina’s Patagonia, below.

 

Wait, you may wonder, didn’t my sisters and I ever fight when we were children? You bet we did, and we still know how to push each other’s buttons. Now that we’ve reached this stage of life, though, we better appreciate how fortunate we are to have each other, and our spouses, and to make time to spend together.

Even better, we no longer have to share a bathroom.

Top photo: Pittsburgh skyline, from the top station of the Duquesne Incline.

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President and the Press

The president I have long admired as the greatest in American history would have agreed with the federal judge’s order yesterday requiring the White House to restore the press credentials of CNN, MS NOW and Politico.

I wrote my college thesis about Abraham Lincoln’s relations with the press during the Civil War.  Lincoln was not a First Amendment absolutist. He shut down presses and authorized arrests of journalists in response to specific incidents. But even when confronted with provocations that genuinely threatened military operations and public order, he remained committed to the principle of press freedom as a foundation of democracy.

 

 

I chose my thesis topic in the wake of the Watergate scandal, when President Richard Nixon placed journalists on an enemies list, tapped their phones and tried to block the release of the Pentagon Papers. I opposed these actions but wondered whether a president might ever be justified in curtailing press freedom. The Civil War seemed like the perfect “stress test” to explore this question.

Little did I imagine that my research would remain pertinent more than half a century later.

My thesis won a prize from Brown University and professors encouraged me to publish it. Instead, I put it in a box, backpacked around the world with a friend, joined the Peace Corps in Nepal and forgot about it until I discovered it in our attic a few days ago. It was revelatory to reread it and be reminded of a president who confronted threats to his administration with extraordinary power, but also knew when to step back.

 

 

False reports and fabricated stories were common in newspapers during the Civil War. Press reports falsely claimed that Northern generals were drunk on the battlefield or that Confederate General Robert E. Lee was leaving his army in disgust. The falls of Richmond, Atlanta and other cities were described before they occurred. Many of these abuses were perpetrated to make a stock market killing or to foment dissent. 

One incident illustrates how bad things were and how Lincoln responded. On May 18, 1864, the New York World and Journal of Commerce published a proclamation signed by Lincoln and Secretary of State William Seward. Its words captured Lincoln’s familiar blend of the poetic and the practical, imploring God for wisdom and guidance. It praised General Grant’s recent military successes in Virginia. Finally, it said the tremendous casualties suffered in that campaign required the government to launch a new military draft for an additional 400,000 troops.

A presidential call for so many troops was explosive. The country was already reeling. Less than a year earlier, draft riots in New York claimed 119 lives and caused extensive property damage (top illustration). The reaction to a major new draft would surely be worse.

The proclamation was a hoax that went far beyond the usual criticism of Lincoln as a “hairy baboon” or his advisers as butchers. Lincoln initially ordered the newspapers suppressed and their editors imprisoned. 

 

 

A quick investigation revealed that the editors had been duped. They thought the proclamation was a legitimate dispatch from the Associated Press, which they received on the AP’s official paper just minutes before their deadlines.The actual instigators were the city editor of The Brooklyn Eagle and his colleague, who exploited their familiarity with Lincoln’s literary mannerisms and the workings of the AP system to trigger a crisis. Both men confessed and spent several months in prison. Once the facts emerged, Lincoln released the editors of the two papers, despite pressure from members of his cabinet to keep them imprisoned.

The incident illustrates an important pattern in how Lincoln responded to press provocations. Like other presidents, he thought the media criticized his administration unfairly and failed to give it appropriate recognition for its achievements. When forced by circumstances, such as this incident or others in which papers published sensitive military details, he told his team to respond. But Lincoln generally resisted pressure for broader crackdowns. The newspapers tested his patience but he remained dedicated to his vision of a government of the people, by the people and for the people, grounded in basic rights such as freedom of the press.

 

 

The contrast with today’s White House is striking. Our current president has repeatedly treated critical coverage as a personal affront. He has publicly mocked reporters and acted to undermine news organizations whose coverage he considers unfair.

I ended my thesis with these words: “In the various personal and emotional ways in which Lincoln limited his own government’s eventual policy, he displayed deep personal kindness and generosity. Nowhere was his basic benevolence better demonstrated than in his personal discomfort and lenience towards disloyalty and the press. He authorized an essentially dangerous Constitutional policy, but he managed it with the grace and simple human kindness which have helped to mark his final place in history.”

Bottom line: Lincoln’s restraint toward the press was the best possible approach under extraordinary circumstances. His “grace and simple human kindness” proved to be what the country needed. 

That was my conclusion when I wrote my thesis in the shadow of the Nixon administration and it feels even more relevant today. The enduring issue isn’t whether a president should ever be angry with the press. Lincoln certainly was. It’s whether a president is using his immense power to protect legitimate national interests or to punish journalists for being journalists.

 

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The Vasa’s Lessons

 

Experts knew their leader’s military plan had a high risk of failure but they muted their concerns because he didn’t want to hear any opposition. Sure enough, disaster ensued.

Sound familiar?

When I traveled to Sweden last month and visited the Vasa, a glorious warship that sank ignominiously more than three centuries ago, its parallels to our own situation were striking. It felt like a nautical metaphor for the folly we Americans are witnessing today.

Now displayed in one of Stockholm’s leading tourist attractions, the Vasa set sail on her maiden voyage on August 10, 1628. With her 64 bronze cannons and ornate carvings, she was a symbol of national strength.

It was a Sunday afternoon, the seas were calm and a crowd cheered from the shore. The Vasa’s gun ports were open to fire a salute.

 

 

Then a wind gust blew the ship onto her side. Water rushed into the open ports and began filling the hold. The Vasa sank less than an hour after she’d departed. Most of the crew were able to swim to shore or cling to debris until they were rescued, but 30 people died.

The crowd watched in horror and immediately began asking how this great ship could sink without a shot being fired at it.

Vasa’s designer, Henrik Hybertsson, was an experienced master shipwright but his design in this case had an inadequate hull below the waterline, making the Vasa top-heavy and unstable.

Hybertsson fell ill and died during construction, leaving incomplete instructions for his team even as Sweden’s King Gustav II Adolf began pushing for changes. The king ruled Sweden from 1611 to 1632 and guided its rise to European prominence. He told the ship’s builders he wanted more firepower, so they added a second gun deck and elaborate ornamentation with extensive gold leaf. These changes raised the ship’s center of gravity even further.

 

 

A stability test before the launch showed how dangerous the ship had become. Yet no one dared to clearly warn the king, who was pressing for the ship to be completed. He had approved all of the measurements and armaments even though he was not a naval architect. An inquest after the disaster searched for scapegoats but, as historians now agree, much of the blame lay with the king. He insisted he knew best. No one held enough authority, or was willing to use what authority they had, to stop him from proceeding. An inquest ended with no one being punished or found legally guilty.

The Vasa was salvaged in 1961 and restored beautifully. The museum created to display it does an excellent job of telling its tragic story, which felt eerily familiar to me.

 

 

Our own leader was reportedly told by experts that attacking Iran could lead to a military quagmire and economic disaster, but he chose to “follow his gut” and attack anyway.

He has also asked the Navy to redesign aircraft carriers to better resemble his aesthetic ideal, a change that would cost billions, worsen chronic delays and make the ships operate less smoothly.

Similarly, he has created chaos with projects ranging from the White House ballroom to the Reflecting Pool, then blamed others for vandalism or interference when things go wrong.

 

 

Across the centuries, we see a powerful leader overriding expert judgment and creating a culture that deters others from flagging serious problems. Indeed, historians now point to the Vasa as an early case study in groupthink, highlighting the danger of “yes cultures” around authority. Courses in engineering ethics and organizational behavior use it as an example.

I loved the museum and encourage readers to visit it if they ever have the opportunity. But you don’t need to travel to Stockholm to appreciate the symbolism of this mighty ship that set sail with such great fanfare and then sank to a watery grave. Its ghosts are alive and its lessons remain with us.

 

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Scandinavia Video

Video highlights a 16-day trip to Copenhagen, Stockholm and Norway, with original local music and many beautiful locations. Watch on YouTube.

Photogenic Norway

As you can see on the map, we started in Bergen, Norway’s second-largest city, on its southwestern coast. Bergen has a picturesque wharf and interesting cultural sites amid majestic mountains and fjords. From there we took a ferry up to Norway’s longest fjord, Sognefjord, where we explored the beautiful villages of Balestrand and Sogndal. Finally we took a long bus ride down to Oslo, the capital, for several days before heading home.

Norway is so photogenic that I’m going to let these photos tell the story:

 

Bergen is famous for the colorful wooden houses beside its historic wharf.

 

We took a funicular to the top of Mount Fløyen for a great view of Bergen, then hiked down.

 

A long ferry ride from Bergen brought us to the picturesque village of Balestrand.

 

We enjoyed walking along Balestrand’s coastline and hiking into its hills.

 

St. Olaf’s Church in Balestrand mimics the design of medieval Norwegian stave churches. It helped inspire the design of the wedding church in the film “Frozen.”

 

We took an evening ferry to our next fjord village, Sogndal. Ferries are one of the main transportation options here.

 

Saunas are popular throughout Norway and Scandinavia. We saw this portable sauna while hiking in Sogndal.

 

The Nobel Peace Prize is presented in this main hall of the Oslo City Hall. A museum about the prize is across the street.

 

A statue of Franklin Roosevelt looks over the Oslo harbor, a reminder of when U.S. presidents were admired in Norway.

 

Frogner Park features more than 200 nude sculptures by Gustav Vigeland.

 

The National Museum displays this version of Edvard Munch’s “The Scream.” Two others are in the MUNCH Museum.

 

Norway’s food scene is eclectic. We enjoyed traditional local dishes such as fish soup and brown cheese, as well as jerk chicken and empanadas at Oslo Street Food.

 

Oslo’s main public library, Deichman Bjørvika, is among the world’s best, with striking architecture, a waterfront location and extensive modern facilities.

 

Norway’s soccer team didn’t win the recent World Cup but it performed well, especially star Erling Haaland, whose image is everywhere in the country

 

Subscribe to Not Exactly Retired. It’s free. Visit the site’s Destinations section for more travel stories from around the world.

 

 

 

 

Kultural Stockholm

We came to Stockholm and enjoyed Iraqi oud music, Lebanese pop, Jamaican reggae and a gospel choir, along with Catalan castells, or human towers (shown below),

That’s because our visit coincided with the city’s annual Kulturfestival, a five-day open-air celebration. Stages featuring live music, dance, art, theatre and global food markets were set up around town. Everything was free.

We did manage some traditional sightseeing, beginning with a historical walking tour where we learned about Sweden’s rivalry with Denmark and its long line of kings named Gustav. The first Gustav led a revolt against Denmark after the Danes slaughtered the local elite in a bloody massacre that inspired the infamous “Red Wedding” scene on Games of Thrones.

Less glorious was his grandson, Gustav II Adolf. He built a massive warship, Vasa, that sank within minutes before horrified onlookers on its maiden voyage in 1628. The ship was salvaged 333 years later and is now displayed in an excellent museum, one of Stockholm’s top attractions.

We also visited the Nobel Prize Museum, which does a great job of explaining science to the general public. I was fortunate to work with several Nobel laureates during my career and enjoyed reading about them in the exhibits, which include objects ranging from a pink headscarf worn by Malala Yousafzai to the discovery of the DNA double helix, above.

We wandered around Gamla Stan (the Old Town), enjoyed the gardens beside the imposing city hall and watched boats and ferries sail along the waterfront, above.

Once we discovered the festival, though, we spent almost all of our free time taking in its music and shows. My favorite was Tensta Joyful Noise, top photo, a diverse and energetic choir that showed how gospel music now reaches far beyond America.

Also great was Tarabband, above, a world music group from Malmö, Sweden, led by Iraqi-Egyptian singer Nadin Al Khalidi.

Our experience in Sweden’s capital illustrated anew the wonderful serendipity of travel, which we treasure. Here in Stockholm, we expected to find herring and lingonberries but ended up feasting instead on Iraqi ballads and gospel hymns. Hallelujah!

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Copenhagen, Easily

Copenhagen is stylish, historic, fun and easy.

It has the Little Mermaid statue, Tivoli Gardens and world-famous restaurants. More than half of Copenhagen’s residents commute by bicycle daily. They swim in the clean harbor. Their city, Denmark’s capital, consistently leads global liveability and happiness indexes. 

Alas, Copenhagen is also very expensive, which is why Champa and I only visited for two and a half days while kicking off a trip to Scandinavia, as shown on the map.

Screenshot

We strolled Copenhagen’s cobblestone streets and rode a boat through its canals. We admired elegant shops along Strøget and the view atop Christiansborg Palace, above. We saw wedding parties at the beautiful city hall and people dancing to this singer at an outdoor club across from our hotel. 

Compared to our recent travels in places like Kosovo or Indonesia, Copenhagen was frictionless. Everything worked and ran on time, except for a ridiculously long line at the airport’s passport control. Everyone spoke English. We didn’t even change any money since all transactions are electronic.

We were struck by Copenhagen’s progressive spirit, from its souvenirs mocking President Trump’s desire to take over Greenland to a city-wide celebration of Pride Week, including a “Fluid Festival” celebrating diverse gender identities.

The Little Mermaid

If you ever have the opportunity, you might want to visit Copenhagen, too. It’s easy. Just bring your wallet. 

Here are some photos from our trip:

The Rådhus, or city hall, is one of the city’s tallest and most impressive buildings.

Copenhagen is among the world’s most bike-friendly cities.


Freetown Christiania is an alternative neighborhood famous for its hippie roots

Our canal tour began with the brightly colored buildings along the Nyhavn waterfront.

The cartoon bear Rasmus Klump hugs children visiting Tivoli Gardens.

The city has an active cultural scene.

The Black Diamond royal library has magnificent waterfront views.

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Our Bygone Tech

If you know a teenager, ask them whether they’re familiar with an electronic device that has a spinning circular mat, on top of which a vinyl disc rotates at 33 1/3 revolutions per minute. What happens when you place the device’s arm onto the grooves of the spinning disc?

For any of us who grew up collecting records by the Beatles, Bob Dylan, Aretha Franklin and others, the answer is obvious: it’s a turntable that plays music.

 

 

When I asked my grandson recently, he had no idea. He’s a smart kid about to enter high school but to him a turntable was like an ice box, a buttonhook or a laundry board were to me when I was his age.

I showed him my turntable because I was about to sell my entire vinyl collection (above) to a local store. I loved my records, which evoked happy memories, but I switched long ago to CDs and then to streaming options. My LPs were collecting dust in a closet and belonged with an audiophile who still loves vinyl.

My grandson and I were both amused that he didn’t know what a turntable is so, with help from AI, I then asked him whether he could identify the following:

 

 

  1. Massive, heavy paper directories delivered to your doorstep every year. You had to flip through thousands of thin, yellow pages to find the phone number of a local plumber, bakery or car dealership. Answer: the Yellow Pages.
  2. Thin, ink-coated paper placed between two sheets of writing paper. When you type or write on the top sheet, the pressure transfers the ink to the bottom sheet to create an instant duplicate. Answer: Carbon paper.
  3. Small, four-sided plastic cubes that attach to the top of a camera. Every time you take a photo with a flash, the cube explodes with a tiny burst of fire and rotates to the next side. You throw it away after four shots. Answer: A flashcube.
  4. Large wooden cabinets in libraries filled with hundreds of small pull-out drawers, each containing cards with book listings. Answer: Card catalogs.
  5. Tiny paper stamps given to you by grocery stores and gas stations based on how much money you spent. You saved them, pasted them into booklets and traded them at a local redemption center for household appliances. Answer: Green stamps.
  6. A cylindrical metal knob inside a car that heats up until it’s glowing red. Answer: A cigarette lighter.

 

 

My grandson and I laughed together as we went through the list, which also included 8-track tapes, milk chutes, microfilm, paper maps, rabbit ears, slide rules and manual window cranks. He knew some of these, guessed correctly at others and was baffled by many. The list might also have included typewriters, floppy disks, photographic film, phone booths and more,

If you don’t believe me, try this yourself with a teenager. Just don’t trip over your grandmother’s treadle sewing machine when you go to call them on your rotary phone. 

Better yet, text them.

 

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Go-Go, Slow-Go

Go-Go, Slow-Go, No-Go.

It’s a phrase we’ve begun using as we think about what lies ahead for us, much as it does for millions of other people in their 70s.

When Champa and I walked away from our traditional lives in 2015, at age 62, we didn’t see ourselves as “retiring.” Rather, we hoped to engage with the world in new ways, in our case by joining the Peace Corps (above) and then traveling and volunteering extensively.

Still wearing a suit shortly before leaving for the Peace Corps.

No shuffleboard for us, thanks.

I started this blog then and called it “Not Exactly Retired” to emphasize its focus on alternatives to traditional retirement. Eleven years and 422 posts later, I feel fortunate to have pursued that vision and helped some readers think more boldly about their own dreams.

Back when we started, I was so concerned with transitioning away from the workplace without “retiring” that I barely considered what might happen later when we inevitably needed to slow down. That seemed so far away.

Melbourne, Australia

Recently, though, it’s begun to feel closer. 

Both of us remain active. We’re leaving soon on a new trip and have others planned. We’re going to the gym, spending time with our family and friends, volunteering and living full lives. We know how lucky we’ve been to do this and are grateful for our blessings.

Slowly, though, our bodies have begun to creak a bit. Some friends have moved to retirement communities. A few have died. Our two oldest grandchildren are in college. It’s finally dawning on us that “not exactly” can’t last forever. At some point — not yet — we’re going to need to slow down.

Which is why we now find ourselves discussing the phrase “no-go, slow-go, no-go,” which Champa read in an article several weeks ago.

Morocco

It’s popular among financial planners. who use it to help clients think about how much money to budget for the different stages of their retirements. Writing in Kiplinger, one advisor said “it’s best to expect to do the big (and more expensive) stuff early on, when you’re healthier, then slow things down as you get older.”

The stages apply beyond financial considerations to life more generally. In a lovely essay on the Sixty + Me website, Renee Langmuir discussed her journey from beginning retirement “with a fresh start and big dreams” to encountering physical and other challenges in her 70s that “ambushed me, the former ‘can-do’ gal!” She found the transition challenging, writing: “Until very recently, my inner critic was cracking the whip with shrieks of ‘you can do more!’”

Cooking class, Chiang Mai, Thailand

I know how she feels. Champa and I love the life we’ve pursued and are reluctant to tap the brakes on it even slightly. But off in the distance we can see the highway ending for “Go-Go” and glimpse the exit ramp for “Slow-Go.” Like it or not, that’s where we and others in our age cohort are heading.

Champa and I met in Nepal, the birthplace of Buddha, and we know how Buddhism emphasizes the impermanence of life. Wisdom comes from recognizing this reality, embracing it and finding meaning in every changing moment. Even though we’ve treasured our decade of Go-Go and plan to keep pursuing it, we need to accept that it will give way inevitably to Slow-Go, and then to No-Go, unless something worse intervenes. 

“Not exactly retired” remains our mantra for now. We hope to keep chanting it as long as we can. It won’t last forever.

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