All posts by djarmul

I am a Peace Corps volunteer in Moldova, in Eastern Europe, serving in the small city of Ialoveni with my wife, Champa. We are from Durham, N.C., where I was the head of news and communications for Duke University. You can follow our adventures on my blog, notexactlyretired.com.

Talking Trash

March 22, 2025 djarmul 4 Comments

We’d barely arrived in Sri Lanka a few days ago when I came across a fascinating example of something I discuss often on this blog: older Americans who are looking beyond traditional ideals of retirement to redefine their lives in compelling ways.

I met Al Sunday at the guest house where Champa and I have been staying near Sri Lanka’s capital, Colombo. He’s a retired military helicopter pilot who served in Iraq and elsewhere. He visited Sri Lanka a year and a half ago and fell in love with the country and its people.

While strolling the local beach in Negombo, he began picking up trash. He returned the next day and picked up more, then more. People began helping him. They installed trash cans. They teamed up with the local tourist board and reached out to national officials. The beach got cleaner.

“I’ve been coming here for 15 years and the beach is the cleanest I’ve ever seen,” I heard another guest, Dennis, above left, tell Al.

Recently approved for Sri Lankan residency, Al explains that “we wear these ridiculous, bodacious yellow T-shirts and people see what we’re doing.” His whimsical retirement effort has become a small local movement.

Al still makes time to work as a dive instructor, travel, be a father to four adult children and return regularly to a cabin in western Maryland. But his Coast Clean project is now central to his identity, the highlight of a simple foreign life he can afford with a military pension and other resources.

“How much money do you really need?” he asks. “A lot of my friends say they wish they could do what I’m doing but they have too much stuff. Well, the old saying is true. You can own things or they can own you.

“It’s really not that hard to make a change like this if you just jump in. You can start with baby steps.”

I was impressed by Al’s project, which you can follow on Instagram, and even more by his example of grabbing life during this “not exactly retired” phase that millions of us are trying to figure out. At a moment when I’ve been feeling unmoored by what’s happening back home, Al Sunday reminded me that we can still redirect our own lives, pursue adventure and try to help others.

It was something I needed to hear, a welcome lesson at Sunday’s school. I came to Sri Lanka and heard the best kind of trash talking.

Subscribe to Not Exactly Retired. It’s free.

Come to the Cabaret

February 22, 2025 djarmul 3 Comments

I’ve wondered lately whether I’m like the emcee in the musical Cabaret, amusing myself as darkness spreads across the land.

You probably remember the emcee. He kept singing and leering in a Berlin nightclub as Hitler rose to power, refusing to recognize, much less confront, the nightmare unfolding around him. He distracted his patrons from paying attention to the chaos outside the door. But in the end, there was no escape. The deluge came and they were all swept away,

Following this past November’s election, Champa and I anticipated the nightmare we’d soon be seeing in America. Our strategy for coping, as I wrote previously, was to spend as much time as possible outside the country.

Soon after the election, we departed for nearly two months in Australia and New Zealand. A few weeks ago we returned home to see our family and take care of some business — doctor’s visits, jury duty and the like. But now we’re planning to leave again, to Nepal and other countries.

Eddie Redmayne in the recent Broadway revival

After that we’ll return home again, but not for long. Just over a month has passed since the inauguration, although it feels much longer. We still have nearly four years to fill.

I don’t regret our decision and don’t plan to change it, at least not yet. I simply don’t have the energy to feel constant outrage. Living abroad gives me distance and perspective. Moreover, from a strategic standpoint, the best thing now may be to wait and let the American people see the consequences of their choice, as devastating as these are proving to be. Of course, that’s easier for me to say than it is for a fired federal employee or a Ukrainian soldier.

As I’ve discovered, there’s actually no escaping what’s happening, even far from home. When we were in New Zealand, some Canadians asked me why our president was so hostile to a long-time friend. Australians said they were nervous about U.S. tariff policy and anticipated closer trade with China. A family from Mexico wondered whether they’d be able to visit the United States again. More recently, our friends in Moldova have been shocked by the abrupt shift in U.S. policy towards their neighbor, Ukraine.

Since we returned home, just a week after the inauguration, I’ve witnessed a relentless attack on things I hold dear — justice, democracy, diversity and more. I devoted much of my career to science, higher education and foreign assistance. Now all of these things are on the ropes. Fellow former Peace Corps Volunteers who pursued careers with USAID have had their lives upended. Scientists I know are deeply concerned about their funding. The list goes on and on.

And me? I’ve been researching travel itineraries in Sri Lanka.

Taylor Mac in the 2013 PlayMakers production

The juxtaposition makes me uneasy. I don’t want to be the cabaret emcee saying: “The world keeps going round and round, but it doesn’t affect me.” It does affect me and many others, most of whom lack the flexibility and resources to leave. Going abroad for months at a time is hardly the same as performing at a sleazy Berlin nightclub, but it’s also a far cry from manning the barricades.

I keep hoping more of my fellow Americans will finally wake up and political options will become more promising. In the meantime, I’m doing my best to focus on things I can actually change. I’m volunteering locally with several groups. I’m finding joy with family, friends, my community and projects like the school in Nepal we’ve been helping to build, which we’ll be dedicating during our upcoming trip. I’m traveling as much as I can before I get too old, especially while things are so grim at home.

I wish I had a better plan right now, but I don’t. I wish things were different, but they’re not. I wish I could turn off the song in my head, but I can’t. It keeps playing: “What good is sitting alone in your room? Come hear the music play. Life is a cabaret, old chum. Come to the cabaret.”

Top photo: Joel Grey as the emcee in the original production of Cabaret.

Subscribe to Not Exactly Retired. It’s free!

Thank You Donors

February 9, 2025 djarmul 2 Comments

The children of Samalbung, Nepal, will soon have a beautiful new school, thanks in part to the generosity of Not Exactly Retired‘s readers.

Nearly 100 people have contributed to the project we announced in May to help build the school in a remote village of eastern Nepal. It will serve about 125 students — mostly girls, mostly from indigenous groups. Our previous announcement has more details.

Readers have donated nearly $23,000 through our GoFundMe account and directly to me. Together with funds raised by the local community, which is also helping with the construction, this has covered nearly half of the total budget. Champa and I are paying the rest.

The school should be ready in late April, in time for Nepal’s new school year. We plan to attend the dedication ceremony and will share video and photos of the event.

We will bring with us a sign thanking all of the donors by name, as shown below. If I have overlooked or listed anyone incorrectly, please let me know by Friday, February 21, so I have enough time to make corrections before ordering the sign. If you want to add your name to the sign, we still welcome donations, which will be used to enhance the school and buy much-needed classroom supplies. You can donate directly to me or through the GoFundMe site — again, by February 21, please. We’ll make the final list public.

We also welcome additional donations from previous donors. No matter when you donate, or how much, the school’s teachers, students and families are deeply grateful for your support. At a moment when the U.S. government is turning its back on foreign assistance, you have made the opposite choice — to open your hearts.

Champa and I join the Samalbung community in saying dhanyabad — thank you! — to all of you.

Thanks to:

Anita Adhikary
Cheryl Arroyo
Jay and Celine Barker
Elia Ben-Ari
Amy Blackwell
Evan Burness and Katie Lindquist
Linda Carlson and Larry Himelfarb
Jennifer Chow
Nancy and Joel Collamer
Thomas Corr
Phyllis and Jerry Crabb
Jill DeGroff
Deepa Dewan
Lokendra Dewan
Raj Bahadur Dewan
Joel Diringer
Kim Dixon
Doschinescu and Nanu Family
Debbie Durham
Scott and Diane Eblin
Benjamin Edwards
Bruce Fong and Virginia Lim
Jill Foster
David Fryer
Robert B. Gerzoff
Christa Gibson
Ryan Gorczycki
Deborah and Simon Gregory
Bob Green
Kate Green
Mitch and Chiyoko Haas
Valerie Harden
Ruth Heuer
Katherine Hicks and Henry Rosenberg
Sally Hicks
Dwight Holmes
Rachel Holtzman
Wendy Hower
Juliana Collamer and Nick Hughes
Camille Jackson
Jonathan and Jamie Jarmul
Paul and Stephanie Jarmul
Ruth Jarmul and Irvin Rosenthal
Pukar and Rekha Joshi
Mariam El-Khouri
Christina Kohrt
Danielle and Steve Kohut
Peter Lange
Keith and Cheryl Lawrence
Priya Limbu
Sudhir and Sarla Mahara
Mariana Mari
Bernadette and Bob Marriott
Herbert V. McKnight
Chris McLeod
Geoffrey Mock
Larry and Judy Moneta
James Moore
Shashi Nembang and Peter Giaquinta
Dennis O’Shea
Steve and Lynn Olson
Lisa Orange
Joyce Pardon
John E. Paul
Deepak Prajapati
Stephanie Prausnitz
Kevin Quigley
Deepa Rai
Timothy and Crissy Ready
Rosalind Reid
Margaret Riley
Rachel Rosenthal and Yair Rosenberg
Rebecca Rosenthal and Adam Arenson
Sarah Rosenthal and Mark Broomfield
Patricia Ross
Jeannine Sato
Peggy Schaeffer
Manish Shrestha
Bob and Karen Simon
Bruce Simon and Betsy Hely
Beth and Cabell Smith
Susan Turner-Lowe
Melinda Vaughn
Jennifer Vega
Sue Kaminsky Vest
Ken and Nancy Warren
Rob Waters
Cindy Weinbaum and Mark Prausnitz
Anne Williams
Robert Wright
Vivekananthan Yatheepan
Merina Dewan Yolmu

New Zealand’s North

January 30, 2025 djarmul Leave a comment

You may have seen New Zealand’s sports teams perform the haka before matches, facing their opponents with shouts, glares and bulging eyes.

We saw traditional Māori dances in person at the Te Puia cultural center in Rotorua, on New Zealand’s North Island. This 90-second video (also viewable at http://youtu.be/m5oKvlgeEjM) has some highlights:

The performance was touristy but fascinating, like the rest of the center, which features geysers, kiwis and diverse crafts produced by Māori artisans trained at an on-site school.

We learned about Māori culture throughout our visit to the North Island, just as we had on the South Island. For instance, the Museum of New Zealand Te Papa Tongarewa, in the capital city, Wellington, helped us appreciate the dazzling seamanship of the Polynesian settlers who arrived in the 1300s — centuries before Columbus or Magellan. It showed how they established a thriving society “discovered” by European settlers in the early 1800s.

At the Auckland Art Gallery, in New Zealand’s largest city, we admired portraits of Māori and other indigenous leaders, like the one you see of Tūhoto Arikiat. In Waitangi, we visited the site where Māori leaders and British officials signed a historic treaty in 1840, still recognized as a founding document of New Zealand.

We learned so much about the country during our bus trip, such as about the terrible Gallipoli campaign of World War One, where thousands of troops from New Zealand and other nations suffered and died. A stunning exhibit at the national museum captures the carnage.

At Riverdale Farm in Rotorua, we watched a show about New Zealand’s diverse varieties of sheep. At the Kauri Museum, we learned about the towering kauri forests that once covered much of New Zealand. In several locations, we learned how New Zealand was the first nation to allow women to vote — 27 years before the United States.

We also took a tour about the Wētā Workshop, which created the special effects for the Lord of the Rings trilogy and other movies, as well as for the Gallipoli exhibit. The photo shows me trying out a new look for myself at one of the tour’s interactive stations.

As with any trip. many of the most interesting sights were unplanned, like this sign at a McDonald’s, known locally as Macca’s, as it is in Australia.

We also happened to be in Auckland during its annual International Buskers Festival, which attracts performers from around the world. The photo shows Andy Spigola of Italy.

We visited countless places of natural beauty — lakes, mountains, geysers and more — challenged ourselves with jet boats and luge rides, and sampled the country’s famous Sauvignon Blancs and other wines.

We loved all of it — even more since we were far from the winter weather back home.

New Zealand isn’t a big country. It has just over 5 million people — less than a quarter of its sheep population. But it is filled with beauty, history and fun things to do. The next time I see a New Zealand team competing on television, I’ll be cheering for them, even if I tune in too late to see the haka dance.

Finding Our Tribe

January 23, 2025 djarmul 1 Comment

You don’t have to be a Lord of the Rings fanatic to find your tribe in New Zealand.

We met some of the movie trilogy’s devoted tribe yesterday during a tour showing how Wētā Workshop created the special effects for director Peter Jackson.

But we’d already found our own tribe during the preceding 16 days, on a bus trip across New Zealand that connected us with others who share our passion for global travel.

People like Ron, a retired banker from Toronto who has visited 81 countries and hopes to top 100 with upcoming trips to Bhutan, West Africa and Central Europe.

Or Vickie, a teacher from Canberra, Australia, who fills her school breaks with trips around the world, from Cambodia to Europe. She’s even spent time in Moldova, where Champa and I served in the Peace Corps together.

Or Eric and Jyleece , from western Canada, who will remain on the road for the next two months, adding to their extensive travels.

We loved spending time and swapping stories with this group while exploring New Zealand on a Grand Pacific bus tour that began in Christchurch. We didn’t have to explain or justify to any of them why we feel so alive when we’re exploring new places.

Back home, by contrast, we sometimes feel like outliers. We’re not surrounded by people who share our passion. If you have a passion of your own, from romance novels to politics to sports, you probably enjoy being with your tribe, too.

Our tribe of world travelers gets energy from meeting different kinds of people and learning about new cultures. We feel that travel opens our eyes wider. It gives us new perspective on our lives back home. It adds to the happiness we get from family, friends and the rest of our “normal” lives. It fills every day with new experiences and memories.

To be sure, it’s not for everyone. Travel can be tiring and unsettling. Some people consider it a waste of time and money, preferring to stay home. Others limit their travel to familiar and safe destinations. Still others prefer to chill out at a resort, or gamble, or hike or shop.

Of course, many people lack the means, freedom or mobility to travel at all, even if they want to. Champa and I traveled far less when we had young children, limited vacation time and future college bills. Even then, we recognized how fortunate we were to travel at all.

We respect that millions of people would rather play golf, watch football, garden or spend their time in ways other than travel. That’s their choice — but it’s not ours.

In New Zealand, we’ve been reassured we’re not alone. We don’t usually travel with a group but were glad we made an exception this time.

For instance, we met Dorothy, above, a Scottish woman who has visited every continent, including Antarctica. And Carolina from Perth, now in her eighties but still adding countries to a list that includes Afghanistan, Uganda and many others.

Interacting with the Lord of the Rings tribe was fun, in other words, but we had found our own tribal partners and were sorry to leave them.

The Rings character Gollum, whom we saw during the Wētā Workshop tour, might have described our emotions best: Spending time with fellow travelers was precious.

A Kiwi Dozen

January 16, 2025 djarmul 3 Comments

Champa and I are halfway through a tour of New Zealand, traveling by ferry yesterday from the South Island to the North Island. Here are a dozen images that illustrate some of what we’ve learned so far about this magical country.

For starters, there are unusual things to see and do here. As just one example, we took a boat from Te Anau to a remote cave entrance. There we boarded smaller boats in darkness to see glowing worms, which are more accurately described as maggots.

If you prefer adventurous activities, New Zealand is for you. We’ve seen bungee jumping, paragliding, trail biking and more, including this family luge ride down a mountain top in Queenstown, which we reached on the gondola shown at the top of this post. Our own biggest adventure was aboard a jet boat.

New Zealand’s biggest draw, of course, is its natural beauty, which is breathtaking. This shot is at Milford Sound, which is actually a fjord.

There’s abundant wildlife, too, such as these seals and a wide variety of birds.

New Zealand’s colonial heritage is obvious, such as at this boathouse in Christchurch that offers punting on the city’s Avon River.

Colonial architecture is also striking, such as at this railway station in Dunedin, a city with a resemblance to Edinburgh.

New Zealand embraces its history in many ways, as at this museum in Arrowtown that celebrates miners and others.

Much of the history is complicated. I’ve been impressed by New Zealand’s respect for its Māori origins, but tensions remain in that relationship. This photo is from Picton.

Antarctica looms surprisingly large on the South Island. Christchurch is the starting point for many Antarctic trips.

Christchurch is also notable as the location of devastating earthquakes in 2010 and 2011 from which it is still recovering. This local museum features chilling videos of survivors sharing their stories.

Finally, there are the beautiful vineyards. Wine has become a big business in New Zealand, which is now famous for Sauvignon Blanc, Pinot Noir and other varieties. These vineyards are in Blenheim.

This isn’t all we saw, of course, and we still have the North Island and its hobbits awaiting us on our trip, which we’re taking with an excellent local company. For now, I’ll bid you “Haere rā” — goodbye — and encourage you to enjoy some kiwi fruit and a glass of Marlborough white while we continue our exploration.

Subscribe to Not Exactly Retired. It’s free.

Momos Down Under

January 14, 2025 djarmul 2 Comments

We’ve been eating our favorite snack food while traveling in Australia and New Zealand the past several weeks.

It’s not chips, burgers or pizza, although these are plentiful. No, we’ve been eating momos — the Nepalese dumplings you see in the photo here.

In Sydney, we ate at The Momo Hub, then at Falcha Hall. As soon as we arrived in New Zealand, we ate at Kathmandu Mo:Mo in Christchurch, then at Mela in Dunedin and The Himalaya in Queenstown.

If you’ve never tried momos, you don’t know what you’re missing. They’re delectable dumplings stuffed with flavorful ground meat or vegetables You buy them either steamed or fried, dip them in sauce and eat them with a fork or your fingers — one or two bites per momo. Our go-to order is a plate of 10 or 12 steamed chicken momos, which we share.

Momos are ubiquitous in Nepal and have been gaining popularity elsewhere. You can find them in most U.S. cities. In India, some fast food chains now specialize in momos. I think it’s only a matter of time until momos become as common to the American food scene as tacos or ramen, which were considered exotic not so long ago.

Here in Australia and New Zealand, which both have significant numbers of Nepalis, momo shops have also been a great place for us to meet people and learn about their lives. The above photo shows Champa with a Gurung family we met in Queenstown. The owner, Satya Thapa, is on the right. That’s him cooking in the next photo.

The following photo shows a young woman who moved recently to Dunedin, on New Zealand’s South Island, to help her brother launch a Nepalese restaurant featuring momos. They were yummy. Like everyone else we met, she was surprised when I placed the order and chatted in Nepali, which I learned years ago while serving as a Peace Corps Volunteer in Nepal.

We’ve also been eating local foods, of course, as well as this region’s famous beer and wine. However, we did skip the kangaroo meat.

I know it’s odd to write about Nepal’s national snack food while we’re touring Down Under but there’s never a bad time to eat or talk about momos. I’m dreaming of the day when someone opens a momo shop in our hometown of Durham, N.C.

For now, I’ve begun researching where to find the best momos when we arrive in Auckland in a few days.

Subscribe to Not Exactly Retired. It’s free.

Scenic Sydney

January 2, 2025 djarmul 4 Comments

I’ve visited some beautiful coastal cities — Rio de Janiero, Venice, San Francisco, Cape Town — but none captivated me like Sydney.

Its famous harbor, flanked by the iconic opera house and bridge, bustles with ferries and sailboats. Locals and tourists from across Asia and the world fill its shops and restaurants. Street performers, gardens, museums and other attractions compete for attention.

*The Opera House seemingly changes shape depending on your vantage point.*

We just spent nine days in Sydney and filled almost every hour with something interesting. Here are some highlights:

We met this koala at the Taronga Zoo, a quick ferry ride from the Circular Quay beside the Opera House.

A walk across the Harbour Bridge offers a great view of the city.

The Art Gallery of New South Wales has diverse collections in a distinctive setting.

The Sydney Barracks tell the stories of convicts who helped build Australia.

An extensive, easy-to-learn transit system uses ferries, trams, buses and trains.

We fed kangaroos and met other residents of another zoo, the Sydney Zoo.

Manly has popular beaches and hiking trails. We traveled there by ferry.

Perhaps the most famous beach hike is the Bondi to Coogee Walk, where we saw swimmers, surfers, volleyball players, body builders and lots of people just enjoying the day.

This crowd was among the million people awaiting the start of Sydney’s famous New Year’s Eve fireworks.

We visited the Blue Mountains, where we saw the famous Three Sisters rock formation.

This concert of Beatles music rocked the Joan Sutherland Theatre at the Sydney Opera House.

Australia’s state libraries, like this one in Sydney, offer museum-quality exhibits.

The Museum of Contemporary Art is adjacent to the Circular Quay and The Rocks, the city’s oldest neighborhood.

Boats are everywhere in Sydney, including at this harbor near Watsons Bay, where we went hiking.

The Australian Museum offers an excellent introduction to the country’s natural history.

It took some adjusting (but only some) to celebrate the holiday season in a summer climate. This scene is at St. Mary’s Cathedral.

A highlight of our Sydney trip was visiting with Nepali relatives who now live there, including our nephew Manohar, with Rukshana.

This wall hanging, like the image at the top of this post, is among the Museum of Sydney’s artwork from the Coomaditchie people.

Artistic Adelaide

December 19, 2024 djarmul Leave a comment

Adelaide is known for several things — beautiful churches, wineries, festivals — but what I’ll remember most about it is the life-sized sculpture of a mother breastfeeding her baby at the Art Gallery of South Australia.

As you can see, it’s not quite a human mother. What gives the life-sized piece by Patricia Piccinini even more power is its placement beside a traditional Virgin and Child by William Adolphe Bouguereau.

Here are the two works together, each offering a different vision of motherhood.

Now consider this Rodin sculpture placed beside Ricky Swallow’s meticulous carving of a skeleton from lime wood.

I found the juxtaposition strange and wonderful. Likewise for the presentation shown at the top of this post.

Champa and I are both art lovers; she is an artist herself. We try to check out local museums whenever we visit a new city. Most have galleries filled with works of specific periods or genres. Adelaide’s museum had those, too, but it also challenged us to think beyond categories, as with this surrealist mashup:

Adelaide’s museum can’t compete with the volume of places like the Louvre, but it impressed us in its own way, as did the city generally.

Next door, for instance, and also free, is the South Australian Museum, which has excellent displays of natural history and Aboriginal culture.

Next to that is the State Library, whose historic Mortlock Wing looks like a reading room at Hogwarts.

Further up the street is an excellent botanic garden, now featuring pieces by American glass artist Dale Chihuly placed in strategic locations and lit up at night.

We also enjoyed Adelaide’s giant outdoor Rundell Mall, decked out for the holidays, and a Central Market filled with luscious produce and specialty food shops.

Australia’s fifth largest city has many other attractions, which we didn’t have time to visit. However, we saw enough to give it an artistic thumbs up.

*This very red piece is by Chiharu Shiota, a Japanese artist now living in Germany.*

Only Melbourne

December 16, 2024 djarmul 4 Comments

Never tell someone from Los Angeles or Barcelona that they’re “only” the second city to New York or Madrid.

Similarly, as we saw yesterday, residents of Melbourne don’t view their beautiful city as second to Sydney or anyplace else in Australia.

Nor should they. This city of 5.2 million people is a multicultural gem with vibrant culture and a strong economy. It’s currently fourth in the Global Liveability Index, behind only Vienna, Copenhagen and Zurich.

Melbourne was briefly the world’s richest city, during the 1880s. It served as Australia’s capital, hosted the 1956 Olympics and is the birthplace of movie stars and celebrities, including NBA star Kyrie Irving.

It’s also a fun place to visit. We began our brief tour with an early-morning stroll through the Royal Botanic Gardens, which are stunning. When we came across some women bicyclists having a picnic next to blooming lotus flowers, I thought to myself, “Wow, I could live here.”

Then we explored downtown on foot, joining a free walking tour, as we’ve done in other cities around the world. Our starting point, above, was the State Library Victoria, with its imposing dome room.

Another stop was the Old Melbourne Gaol, or jail, where the famous bushranger Ned Kelly was hanged for murder.

Carlton Gardens, a UNESCO World Heritage Site, features the Royal Exhibition Building, which has hosted an international exposition, Olympic competitions and other historic events. It’s near the state parliament building, below.

Other landmarks included the picturesque Flinders St. Railway Station and St. Paul’s Cathedral, below, and less formal attractions such as graffiti art and shops decked out for the holidays.